Through the tunnel
Plot
The story is all about a young boy who lived with his widow mother. They went for a holiday to a foreign country. On the first morning of their holiday, they went to a beach were they used to be some years back. Jerry wanted to explore a rocky bay but he was scared. After seeing some boys through he was encouraged. He started off by exercising his breath and became better. The first time he tried going through the rock's tunnel, he came out nose bleeding and his eyes were paining from the salt in the sea water. He then went to ask his mother for googles; she bought for him. After seeing the mouth of the tunnel, the next day before they did not leave for home; Jerry went to the tunnel very brave. The tunnel was dark but he kept going. He started loosing his breath and panicking too, thinking he would die under there. He did not give up, and because of his pride finally he made it through.
Main character
Jerry was an eleven years old.
He lived with his widow mother.
He depends on his mother.
He was a very good swimmer.
He was also very brave and determined.
He was also full of pride and he would prove all what he think is capable of.
He wanted badly to go through a tunnel in a rock where he saw some boys going through.
Finally he made it through the rock.
Setting
The story took place at the Rocky Bay.
near the beach.
Its connected to the sea.
It also took place at Vlla.
Whereby, Jerry and his mother use to sleep.
It was during summer holiday.
The story is all about a young boy who lived with his widow mother. They went for a holiday to a foreign country. On the first morning of their holiday, they went to a beach were they used to be some years back. Jerry wanted to explore a rocky bay but he was scared. After seeing some boys through he was encouraged. He started off by exercising his breath and became better. The first time he tried going through the rock's tunnel, he came out nose bleeding and his eyes were paining from the salt in the sea water. He then went to ask his mother for googles; she bought for him. After seeing the mouth of the tunnel, the next day before they did not leave for home; Jerry went to the tunnel very brave. The tunnel was dark but he kept going. He started loosing his breath and panicking too, thinking he would die under there. He did not give up, and because of his pride finally he made it through.
Main character
Jerry was an eleven years old.
He lived with his widow mother.
He depends on his mother.
He was a very good swimmer.
He was also very brave and determined.
He was also full of pride and he would prove all what he think is capable of.
He wanted badly to go through a tunnel in a rock where he saw some boys going through.
Finally he made it through the rock.
Setting
The story took place at the Rocky Bay.
near the beach.
Its connected to the sea.
It also took place at Vlla.
Whereby, Jerry and his mother use to sleep.
It was during summer holiday.
You got 8 out of 10. keep it up.
ReplyDeleteOk, thanks
ReplyDeleteI will give you a 7/10 , you should do away with repeating thngs like " he was also". Your grammer is fairly good
ReplyDelete